Saturday, May 29, 2010

hanky-love-love-love

Well..this post is dedicated to you my dear...

+im just an ordinary girl and this isnt my imagination...this is for-real...


now..hm..im stuck alone in this pinkish-candly flossy room and reminsced the thing that had happened to me for past few days...

hehe....


it's started when he send me to the airport...(dipisah lautan biru)...you know it right..

and i just smile...we went to the airport..and my feeling???omg..bercampur2..im happy...nak jumpa my family but at the same time...faham-faham la...org yg xpaham ni maybe gay or lesbian..


and..allan,kyry,dzul,and ilanggo balik sekali ngan aku..so..we talked for hours....

and then....diaorg ajak aku masuk departure hall..omg..omg..chill aina..chill...


i looked at him and said bubbye...tetiba..k.fine..that's so weird...mata aku..omg...watery...it's not like im gone forever.but then..i cried..and all of them..mmg agak tekeejut...he just smile..maintain..but deep down inside i know him well....and slowly..dia anta aku depan gate...and..




..last word...take care....

suddenly..he gave me...



HIS WHITE HANKY WRAPPED WITH HIS BOW-TIE....and it was so adorable...he said..masuk dalam nanti..buka hanky ni....and i just straight-away line up at the immigration counter....bila sampai turn aku...


aku toleh..he was still there...muka dia dah lain...kind of...emo..and he said..dont cry(i can read it from hi body language..and i just nod)...smpai turn aku..


tiba-tiba my heart asked me to do this kind of crazy job..which was..i ran to him and grabbed his hand..salam again and ran back to the immigration counter... idont even know sapa yg tgk..tp who cares.....and here it goes..we were separated with the border line...and tears streamed down to my face....


aku masuk gate with the others...and i openned the wrapped hanky..and here it goes...



he wrote so many things there..omg...god created him that way..he was so romantic..and again...tears rolled down again-and again..(lawak..mcm movie)...



dear..thanks for the hanky..i do appriciate it <3 ya

Sunday, May 23, 2010

random facts that i might despice yet i love...

~occay..3 days to go and bubbye.
~feeling??
perhaps im feelingless and maybe suffocated a lil bit..but no worries there still lots of trees there
~got my marks already and how im going to tell my mom?haha..lawak
~craving for homemade food
~now?feels like crying..reason?i dont even know..
~im not in a mood...because of some reasons..yeah..
~another random fact..im going to miss Sabah.....i mean..erm..yea.....yet i miss my hometown....the place where i belong..for some reasons...
~despice of what?
+nothing actually.
-maybe i hate the emptiness...i mean it...lolx.
+positive....wuu...
_i hate this..when i give my everytihng and things goes the other way around..what the heck....i mean it...my stuff your stuff..your stuff????your stuff also..
ok fine....thanks for the new regulations..i do love it and someday im going to apply it..
~give and take..that's my policy and somehow rather be i think im not being appriciated for that....taking things for granted..ok...thank you for that..
~i thing this would be my first post about thing that i despice and i couldnt take the burden alone...blame it on me?come on...hit me...apa lagi????scream at me..rebel..come....
~just so you know..im the type yg menerima smua.by that..dont bully me..what the heck...dont be selfish..yea..you are so sibuk ..i can accept it...but y then you have to act as if im the stray dog..fyi..i rather died alone than being hurtedlike that...


nak marah cause i wrote this..be my guess......kick my ass and u wont see me again..
believe me...
+once smitten,twice shy+
till then....

me...

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

There's nothing that i want to say act.i mean im blank..and frankly said..im tired maybe..tired with bundle of ass..sigh....mean..that been dumped towards us.undeniable we shoul do it..but i dont feel like doing it..full stop....

it's getting bored..boredom is killing me..and perhaps one day...i might die because of being bored...

bored of what??
seriously..despicing of being a teacher...and i hate it..i mean it...huhh....
seriously.....i thought that maybe im going to fall in love with this career..but then i hate of making this stupid mistakes....im going to rebel..i mean it....

i hate this surrounding,and it's not like im being ungrateful or what..but still i felt stupid for not following my intuition for long2 time ago....following parents heart was a good deed and i never blame them..but then...i hate this kinda of situation where's all i can say that..this isnt my soul..and i feel rejected here.....and i hate it...i miss my old friends.tp not all la...yg still loyal..
thanks i love you all..and the backstabber...ni..seriously.blah la...mcm baik..yea..i know..


everyone's changing.so do i....but..seriously..this is me..and guys..you have to accept me for who i am..and top the madness..please...ya..i know..thanks.god...you all been sent to peninsular varsity...and you guys are so pious there...tp please..jgn slender aku...


to my ex-good friend..thanks la ngaku aku bestfriend....tp blakng...hmm...god knows....you know who you are..i respect u as my bestiest...guy friend..but then..now..i hate you.....tak payah la nak buat geng and say bad stuff boud me....thanks...engineer....kan dah kua....dulu yea..we share our madness together....soar..tp now..smua berubah...and yeah..you are cool..study luar...
tp please...jgn bajet pndai..as FAR AS I CONCERN..KAU DULU TU..just a noob guy yg xda kawan..but now..fuh...banyak pulak songeh kaw!!!


jgn cakap pandai ya syg...we all human being..and frankly im not perfect..sO do u..so please diam or else..kaw tau kan aku mcm mana..KAKI naik muka.....jgn cabar aku..aku diam sebab aku respect kau..tp jgn buat kepala...


FYI-girl benci laki mulut banyak.....diam luar..tp dalam facebook..berabih kau cakap..politik la..apa.la...adui....makin nyampah aku tgk kau...

Monday, April 26, 2010

~jibet~now i hate you thank you...

can i describe you right now?
stupid
selfish
moron.
again selfish
bajet....

serious cakap..i dont even need u as my friend..cibai you.......
aku dah xpdulik..gasak ng la..buat muka cm cibai....

aku diam ja slama ni..kira dah abih jatuh dah ego..ngan org len ko kalut nak berbaik..ngan kwan2 ko yg jaga ko dulu??cibai o..lantak la...malas..jnis x kng budi..mak bapak x ajar kot...

aku diam ni..bukan makna aku sabaq..tp malas dah..dah jadi malas..fed up......sangat2..blah la

Thursday, April 1, 2010

p/s i love you...

gazed at the phone screen,
there was one missed call,
it was him..
a guy that she didnt expect to fall.

it was holiday,
and she had her own way,
while he was playing,
she kept on praying...


days after days,
time passed by,
magic words that been said,
had turned to lie and cry...


they broke up,
and she's giving up..
the unspoken words then come and bloom,
stars shine the night and no more gloom..


they met up at the place called bay,
she stares at her and he begin to say,
dear,i love you stay with me,
as she nodded down with the blemish cheek.


i love you too,then she breaks the silent,
as night begin to crawl,
she feels the warmth in his cuddle
and they did solve the love puzzle...



p/s i love you....

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Life is like shit sometimes...

haha..There is no specific reason of why im doing this stupid blog...
in a stupid mode or hectic mayb?

some people said that life is like dick...whatever..i prefer shit..
both of them are mostly same...
and same..same..same(repitition)...

hurgh..im tired...tired of this fucking shit...haha...
kasarnya...apa2 jela...this is my blog...so what...
got problemo?


this post has nothing to do with anyone and i mean it..im tired..that's all..and there is no specific reason of why suddenly im tired with my so-called-happy life...


whatever..being born as a normal girl made me feel so free..free to soar.emancipate my feelings due to the darkness that shades my heart..i mean it....i miss my home..



there's no other place like home.....home




okay..done....


it's not like being ungrateful or what..or it's just my feeling..

pms?no....


apa2 jela...



i just wanna say that im tired..i need my sleep...i need a rest....

jealousy?hate to admit that...

but that's the one...


and im learning......




p/s=girls.......it is good to be independent as it wasnt good to trouble others life=))...




till then....

Saturday, March 27, 2010

just a girl

well..there's no other place like home...

and till now..i do believe in that....im just a girl.a normal girl..that seek for happiness..nothing much..i ask for nothing..gosh..expect for the happiness that im craving for..

well..im sorry(to anyone)..if this post will hurt some of you...or you..or you...
but then..this is the right place for me..pour all my problems,paint my sadness and draft my happiness..

but then..im just a normal girl-crash...*here comes my twenty-third times tears*

need someone to lay on right now...and hmm..yea..

again.....have fun k.


this post my be the annoying one.but..this is my emancipation..back off..
i have the write to speak.to soar.to talk...



and now..again..im emoing...


i need you right now...can't you just see it.=((

yeah..i tried to be cool..but it doesnt work..and jealousy is killin me..


here it goes.my instinct is there...(yea)..




cool.cool.cool..darn it..im not that cool....gosh..y it has to be this way...

-faithful
-devoted



but then..i will pray for the best..and my still...i hope you're going to keep on your words.cause..if you dont..this heart-will be-broken for the second time...



Monday, March 22, 2010

yaw..Found out this wallpaper,and it did captured my attention....love it man...To be frank.this might be the real-confession of any kinda normal girl on this earth....They might be annoying sometimes(only them?...me??haha)..but the truth is,any kinda of girls will act-out-crazy when they are in love....esspecially the young cuckoo typo...The true colour will slightly brighten up the milky emotions that been kept for-loooong time....believe me..(tipu la kalo nak cover2 malu)..for all girls..yaw..be yourself..there's no need to hide out your emotion...spread it out....jangan nak hipokrit....weh..jangan2..


The most important part is:be yourself and he will accept you for who you are..and if he doesnt??
faham-faham la(ayat pasrah)...







-till then-


Thursday, March 18, 2010

Budak-budak kelas yg disayangi...


since afiq wrote something about his classmates(which aku pon terlibat)..so im going to describe them..one by one..(secara detail)..ahaks...let the game begin.



Afiq-to be frank..aku ENvy dgn mamat sorang ni..dia sort like a walking wikipedia in our class..online dictionary that full of languages..even the greek one...and..so called google la...pon begitu...he lacked of something...rendah diri dia melampau..cam nak sepak ja aku dgn dia..afiq..stop rasa rendah diri..



AMALIN-ni minah yg kontra dengan afiq..fuh..confident level dia amat tinggi..setinggi dengan nilai kenakalan nya ya..she's taken ya...huhu..in fact.she is a good adviser,papa pun aku p cari dia la..setia kawan ni...and agak memahami..sekepala dengan aku..brr.


RAIHAN-aku consider dia ni as bestiest aku la....first day aku jumpa dia..agak memahami..tp agak..bukan agak la..tp amat degil....xleh nak kata apa ni kat dia ni..master of silat and huish..pandai cover line aku gak ni...haha..syang rehan.


MIRA-huish..agak sensetive ni and agak caring....caring la...keibuan tu pergh agak la tinggi....garang gakla...sumpah aku takot....idea dia ni agak tinggi and kalo dia rasa A..A la...haha..takot..jgn marah



yazeed-hah!yazeed.siap ng..xdala..aku considere this boy as my brother.even my parents pon said so.enjoyed tremendous moment with himla.and he's my bestiest..forever..dia ni..sensssstive over trifle thing..and once nama ko dah buruk dpan mata dia..so,sorry la...jgn harap nak elok balik..kui2.


DZUL-ok...budak ni..hmm.1st time tgk..pergh..skema..

tp fuh..budak ni.sumpah lawak...sgt2...aku respect dia as leader this year..and jgn men2..lawak dia ada mkna and sumtimes dont overestimate him!..ngee


hamy-ok...sejujurnya...org yg paling aku respect dalam kelas aku is him...amatlah caring..but xamik kesempatan..loyal dgn lilo dia and make long-distance relationship tu nmpak easy...sgt2 hardworking walaupon selalu baca harry porter bahsa melayu..cayalah hamy!!!


master gogo-tupai2 wink2......haha...full of scandal ni...huk3...lawak..and senstif...agak responsible dan pulun bila dapt assignment..pendek kata leh jadi ketua keluarga dah ni.....haha....lolx




jennie-this girl.seriously cantik.indie.and filthy rich....haha..1st sem aku x leh cope with her..tp bila kenal..baru taw..dia jnis easy going and tolerate...pandai cover line gak ni..haha..thanks jen2.



RACHEL ROMA2-OK..SERIOUSLY..SHE's the clown..sesgtla lawak and absence dia leh wat kelas jadik stress...easy going and senang untuk sembang..open.and relaks..rachel..miss you lah..haha



Nad-kalo cakap pasal rachel mesti ada nad kan...haha...nad.nad.nad...ok..1st thing pasal nad ni...rambut dia...tiap minggu ada ja kelainan..berani sungguh nak mereka2 rambut ni...agak blur..tp english dia..pergh mantapla..lect fav dia mr khoo..haha



zell-hmm..heart broken girl ni..love style dia...dia ada style snirik..i mean..crew dia..etc..but deeply inside..god knows..kan...tp..i know,she will mend it by herself..go girl...stop looking at the past.it's the time to move on!!



mustaqim-badar ni..haha..lawak ja..budak ni manja jho!!!gedik ni...haha...suka main2 time buat keja..and mengakibatkan aku sakit hati..pon begitu..ada nilai2 positif ya anak2..haha..dia ni..jnis relaks..neutral la..payah nak emo2...montel..kembar dzul ni..haha....tp kembar yg tanak~````





frederick-hmmm..hmmm..hmmm...♥ ♥ ♥.......no comment..ahaks ....




whatever it is.....we are in the group that full of of controvercy..but still..


we each other



Wednesday, March 17, 2010

karma!!


stop messing around with me..and i mean it...!!!!!


okay..this isnt a joke..and im writing this in the middle of the night as im really pissin out right now....


ok..girl..would you mind>>??


i mean...if you use simple english..em...can u use your mind..haha..dedicated to someone that i used to respect+adore..but now...it flew away with the storm..and burned down by my anger...i can still smell the gasoline..hmm...the gasoline that slowly running in my veins.and ended with the flame...viscous+toxicated...



kesimpulannya aku sgt marah.and kecewa



jeles??maybe..ahaha..



k..stop that...


let all by gone b bygone..cause u told him that u already gone kan(lagu yg been dedicated..cam bodoh)..



DAH..ENOUGH..JGN UNGKIT KISAH LAMA..xyah la,nak compete or apa...please...


i beg you..stop this.(please x infinity)..



girll.imagine this.if you were in my place..(which you wont be..)what do u feel?


a)stupid

b)jealous

c)rasa dimainkan

d)smua di atas...



I KNOW..you will definitely answer d kan...haha...


k...


again..im hurted..dahla syg..stop2..


xyah nak compete2..yes...you are the winner..


xyah cakap..skali tgk pon dah tauk..kamu menang bha....k..fullstop..


you are the one who dumped him at the 1st place..and now>?what?..



aku mmg emo dah ni..skati aku la..blog aku..aku nak tulis apa biarla.....

(sakit ati?xyah baca)




jgn la tunjuk ke'desperate'an ko,pas apa yg ko buat...k...



this is just a post..sapa makan hati,dia rasa kenyang..



and..i really mean it...



despice the kinda person,yg sukati buang org..then when someone had mended his broken heart,ko nak amek pulak..and dump the other innocent-naive guy...ko nak aku mend kan yg len pulak?



p/s:x yah kapel kalau takat nak gunakan kapel ko for your own sake...

stop hurting others-as i dont want to be hurted again..



sekian terima kasih



Tuesday, March 16, 2010

holly--sshiitttt..

broken com and broadband...fucking shit...

ok..lets begin...

it was 4 a.m maybe when im headed to my wonderland...(sleepin+dreamin)...after long-term time of crying due to some problemo..


and only one person knew it....plaster at my right hand..severe pain and..hmm.so called-edward face(pale but still cute)...

and...hmm..im blurred....i walked towards my bunk bed and..



my handphone was out of the power..so...i decided to charge it..for some reasons...fred..melloyello..hehe...but then..

i accidently pulled the wrong charger...


and..dush....


ok...what's that?


haha...

tett..it was my d.e.l.l yummy...and...aha..


guess what...it fell..and...

ended with tettz..gosh...the best part happened when i saw my broadband had broken(into 2)..

haha..should i called it broadband or kit-kat...hahah



laughoutloud..and cry...


broken-hearted and ended with eye-bag...hahaha



for the person that i called..sorry....hehe...for the interruption!!!..


lolx



Monday, March 15, 2010

LOVE..LOVE..LOVE

She was there..alone..witnessed the god creatures...gazing the stars....tears rolled down the blemish cheek as she strolled along the cherry street,the street that they used to walk...she missed that part..she missed him...holding hands in the gloomy night witnessed by the moonlit,she craving for that happiness..she cried out-loud....
she gazed into the shiny surface watch that fastened around her hand,it was 10 p.m..she continued the journey..the journey to nowhere...she lost herself...without him,she was nothing..she then walked towards the nearest old-wooden bench that situated in front of the beach..perfect place for lovey dovey couple...and again..she was blurred..
why do he leave me??whispered herself...
just now she went to his office..For their casual lunch...Usually,she will meet him at their fav place which was the side-road stall that situated to the hustle bustle city,the place where they can laughed-giggled-cried and screamed without distraction... but now...hmm..
She went to his office..it was their daily routine...lunch at the side road stall,and strolled at the beach...witnessed the sunset..and ended with gazing the cluster of stars....
but then..something happened..she went there and hugged him...but he stayed still..there was no responsed..she cant hardly believe that,and she felt the disappoinment..as if there was a gap been created between both of them...she could feel the boundary..it hurted her...and she completely in pain...
She missed the real him..the time when he gave her the morning kiss at the forehead,the cuddle that could warmth her when she needed him..the jokes when she was depressed..she missed him...
She faked a smile and grabbed his hand...
'aaron,whipered her slowly..are you ok?hun'...
again..there was no respond......
She shed the tears...hmm...it's okay...with the disappointment,she slothly headed towards the glass-door...
&
she saw something,when about to leave..
aaron switched on his pda and call someone..and he said....
she's gone.....
he picked up the heart-shaped frame and kiss it...
it was the face of her girlfriend...isabelle meredith kate..
she diagnosed for cancer..
then she finally realised that....
she was gone..she then slowly deminished with the wind,and the memories of their love was captured in his memory...
F.O.R.E.V.E.R

Friday, March 12, 2010

holiday!!!lalalaala

geek+nerd
=))



it's holiday..


say what?



H.O.L.I.D.A.Y







aku kat sabah lagi ni..apa pon x pack gila...(xnak balik ka?ui..ui..pepandai ckap cmtu..)








Petang ni,im flying with syed and dzul







dia..dah balik.ooooo..sday..haha..






Apa aku nak buat holiday ni??



any suggestion?








  • first..lepak dgn family..family comes 1st no matter what kan...so..family..yeah...makan2..ui..makan..gemok la


  • second...plan ngan kekawan..(tp kna ada limit)...malin..yehaa..kita jalan2 dolu....


  • 3rd...ntahla..skyping?kewajipan dah tue...



  • cari baju retro..(ui)...dancing queen....theme?polka dots..ui..makes me look uissh..


cakap pasal retro...dia dah bli spek..haha..



nerd gilak bila aku pakai..





dia jadi geek..g.e.e.k.



i kiss a geek,i like it..it taste like cherry-pop stick(bajet katy perry)..

whatever it is.i wish luck to all of my friends..

ex-raihan..(soory yea,xdapat sama2 cuti ni..jaga diri..)..

holiday...and now..i can smell the diesel..hmm..haha...and my room..oish..nak balik dah..

got fly away...





alice in the wonderland+sunset...


ok..im flying back tomorrow..got to fly away..(jojo)..


and so do him..(to sarawak..


so we had decided to go for our so-called-last meeting-outing-oppss..dating>?nanana



alice in the wonderland

(and both of us wonder)..


SUMPAH JHO!KAMI CONCENTRATE..TP X PAHAM..



Sik faham(madah aku)


ish..xpaham pa pon aih..(kata fred)..



so..then..we went to jp..and wush...tgk sunset...



sgt indah..alolo..


then..we strolled along the road.like a cuckoo couple...yg menyanyi tgh jalan...ish2(bahayanya)..










then..



here we go again..




heart to heart session..


lokasi-entahla...




p/s-xnak nakal2 ya..take care of yourself=)

Thursday, March 11, 2010

kikilala+melloyello

so formal..oh god..english some more..proud to be teslian(toek...opss no alien lang allowed)
hi...
hm...what should i say eh..hmm..
ok..again..new chapter..new life..a new beginin ryte..
waa


forsaken god...apa aku nak cakap sebenarnya ni..


well..hmm...recently..there are lots of thing to be shared..but some of them is totally tett..so...hm...haha

ok2..be serious..(MUKA PENGETUA)

to be frank..im totally in 7th heaven right now..in love>>??


yeap..
yeap..
hmm....
with?
a guy of course...(aku straight la mangkok..afiq tudia)


specific?

-a handsome guy..tall..slender..over gila...
-xla...hmm..
-a guy la..senang..

k..
hmm..

dear..thanks for mending my heart...
dgn plaster(uhuk)

after for a long time..gedik..
finally...
-someone watching over me...
-thanks
-thanks
-thanks

...................................
and this song is dedicated to you dear...


im only me when im with you-taylor swift!!!
nite2...

-emancipation of me....

Monday, January 18, 2010

Mari bergelak...

yehaa...
new days..
homesick?da kurang...tired of being homey..
last nite?
had a phone call with my granny..and guess what..my dad...
xpnah stop buat phone call..
mcm kat rumah..bulan 3 ni aku balik...
hehe..mcm bangang..any other case?
nope..im cool...
blogging...mmg minat..menulis?
one of my part time jobs...
whatever la....
haha...tulis2...
boring..
flash kuning..haha.....laugh out loud..as if i care..
weh..tired of being bloody stupid la...
anyway..im eighteen and im totally cool with it..
what eva...as if i care..lalalaa....
smile.laugh.smile..laugh....
as if i dont have my own parents..woi..listen here...i have my mom..and i have my dad...so..jgn berani...cakap papa pasal aku....aku sepak karang.....urgh..

emo2....gangster la ni....haha....
again..talk to the hand...
bla2...penat la.....
sampai x cukup tidoq..kept thnking..mcm bodo..
weh2..ilex2.
jangan mare......
anyway.............
it's a new day!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

homesick..lalala

seCond day in SAbah..lalalala...
still,hoesick..the only emotion that can desribe of how i feel is homesick..
haha......
hmm...start up the day with stupid-cupid assmbly..haha..hmm..
remincing the time that i had with my mom at home..yummy..fresh morning with extra scramble eggs made me felt homey...miss my daily routine....feels awkward here...i can sense the weird atmosphere here...i dunno what or why..and the reason is still unspoken.....
maybe,still tired and still im trying my best to adapt myself in this surrounding...new room,huh..new class...everything had changed..or only me,myself and i only change..but still i miss my room,penang..the place where i belong...
i can still smell the gas and the engine..everything..the anticipated moment when i speed on the highway..miss my life.....
and there...my dad...haha...
ayah..miss you......(miss the merapu merabaness at home..)
mama..miss all the nag2 thing...the deli...scrumptious food....the laksa of course...
haha.......
i bring the teddy,the jacket..but still..i miss the atmosphere there....
the late-nite call...the skying cryiping type....

haha...

hmm..feels like crying..dont cry...dont2..Xmau2..hahaa...

and now..listenin to taylor's songs and sitting here alone...writin this kinda jerky-perky merapuness..and hope this will emncpate my feeling....hmm...
hurgh...

penang..love you...

xoxo
aina